Thank God Russell Wilson Grabbed The Wheel Of The Joker Car From Unknown Broncos Coach Nathaniel Hackett

Grabbing the wheel from a clown car driven by Nathaniel Hackett, quarterback Russell Wilson rode to the rescue of Broncos Country.

Wilson saved himself an unknown rookie head coach, returned in the fourth quarter and beat Houston 16-9 on Sunday, when Boo Birds came out and told the home team that all this unforgivable junk had been shut down.

“I don’t blame them,” Hackett said. “I mean, heck, I’m booing myself. I was getting so frustrated.”

Let’s stop by to thank the Broncos for finding a way to beat one of the NFL’s worst teams in spite of themselves.

“I really care about the cheers at the end, because we won,” said Wilson, whose 22-yard strike ended Eric Saubert with 12 minutes, 36 seconds, remaining in the fourth quarter. Prove it all to beat Houston. There was a minor touchdown.

Despite repeated red-zone atrocities, Denver won and improved their record to 1-1; Despite 13 bonehead penalties, including a game-delayed violation on a field goal attempt; Despite sending the punt return team to the ground without anyone to field the punt; Despite timing out in the middle of the fourth quarter, and Hackett having so much brain freeze that I’m starting to wonder if his gray matter is made up of dippin’ dots.

“It has to stop,” said Hackett, noting that he might need a hug.

But what this team needs more than a bro-hug is an intervention. Hackett needs someone to explain the big picture to him in real time. He needs a credible voice to unravel the traps in his brain.

We talk about it all the time with cheaters who turn everything around. For all his boasting of being the son of a coach, the pace of NFL games has been too much for Hackett. We knew Mike Shanahan, whose son comes to town next weekend to coach the Niners, and Hackett is no mastermind.

Over the course of two weeks, Hackett is now 0-6 and converting red-zone trips into touchdowns as a play-collar. Instead of pounding the ball into the end zone behind the steamroller driving Javonte Williams back, it seems Hackett is more inclined to make goo-goo eyes on his offensive play sheet and fall in love with the cute.

Let’s hope it’s not a fatal attraction.

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