‘The Bachelorette’ recap: Season finale, Rachel, Tino, Gabby, Erich

two of this season Bachelorette The stars had chosen their final men ahead of Tuesday’s season finale. So it must be a breeze, right? Well, like a wind that signals the beginning of a storm.

(Three hours!) The finale begins on an oddly grim note, with host Jesse Palmer breaking the silence saying that he expects two happy endings for Gabby and Rachel, but “things haven’t turned out that way.” uh oh. He alludes to the impending “scandal and betrayal”, hinting directly at Tino’s “indiscretion” and Erich’s “text messages”. Oh. He brings the two women out for an awkward hello, and then we get serious with Gabby in Mexico when Eric tells her he wants to date her first before getting engaged. He’s determined: “I need him to propose to me.” But when he tells her how devastated he would be if they parted ways, she softens a little, and she becomes convinced they can make it through it. we think!

Rachel, meanwhile, goes to see how Tino is doing after her break up with Aven, and he says that she is “amazing, without a doubt, as always.” Okay, this guy is far more confident than any other human being, but Rachel goes right over him and tells him he’s the only guy left, and they share a swagger of happy kisses. We can’t help but notice that Rachel is No Smiling as she watches it back on the live show. Back in Mexico, he and Gabby share a giddy champagne toast together and brag about their respective beaus and how sure they are about him. Rachel even goes so far as to say of Tino: “If that’s not him, I don’t know who he could be.” Yep, we’re getting ready for serious heartbreak here, folks. buckle up.

The Bachelorette Finale Rachel Tino ProposalIt’s time for Rachel’s final rose ceremony, and she and Tino are excited to hold each other’s hands. (We’re a little robbed of knowing who the final people are ahead of time, right, Bachelor Nation?) She breaks down all the things she loves about herself, and he tells her what they’ve never had. is going.” (Honestly, we can barely hear them running fountains and the ominous bird’s scream in the background. That’s a sign!) It sounds sweet and all, but about Rachel and her family. She has death marks on her face in the live show, so we know it’s all a bunch of lies. Tino gets down on one knee and proposes, and she says yes, and… yay? We’re just as happy As many as Rachel is watching it right now. “This is the happiest moment of my life,” says a crying Rachel… and that means it’s down here.

On the live show, Rachel explains what happened next: “It was really great for a while” between her and Tino, but they “goed through a rough time” around the time of the show’s premiere. She says she tried her best to keep their relationship together, but “I couldn’t feel that support”. She hoped they’d be able to patch things up by the finale, but then Tino raised some vague concerns about “ties to the past,” and in the end, Rachel revealed, “It didn’t really work out. he has cheated me.” We bite to console Rachel by Gabby, who advises her to “kick her”. [bleep]ing balls.” (She’s a friend now!) Rachel also says that Tino told her “I’m sorry to tell you,” which is… not great! (We just want to say that we did He didn’t trust Tino, and we’re feeling pretty comfortable right now.)

The Bachelorette Finale RachelTino comes in for a tense sit-down, admitting he “messed up” and “kissed another girl” – but that only made him want Rachel more? Plus, it was the “tiniest thing ever,” so why are we even talking about it? He also brought his journal with him so that he could quote back to Rachel things he had said that made him think they were broken. When he says she refused to go to therapy, she says it’s a lie, and they go back and forth in ugly fashion for a while. He eventually walks out angrily, with both of them crying to the producers and Tino: “Tell him to break up with me. Get me out.” He comes back at the end, but sticks to his story about how “small” he did what he did, and sees Rachel red. When she catches him in a lie, he becomes confused and turns away again, forcing her to follow him outside and demand answers. He asks for another chance, vowing to fulfill her. But she announces, “I’m done,” handing her her ring back to applause from the live audience. Tino bows in shame… and we feel like applauding too.

After a somewhat uncomfortable recap with Jesse, where Rachel conclusively states that she does No Still in love with Tino (and her father Tony looks ready to punch Tino in the face), they bring Tino out for a post-breakup ceremony – and he really gets bored! He’s very apologetic for everything at first, but he’s still parsing words and defending himself, and Rachel has nothing. When he again reveals how she thought they had broken up, she becomes angry, asking, “Do you want to join in?” She points to personal things that were edited out from their earlier confrontation (hmm) and makes it very clear: “We were never on a break.” (Where’s Ross Geller when we need him?) Tino is here gasping for air, and the live audience prepares to strangle him by the time Jesse mercifully cuts him off.

The Bachelorette Finale AvenueBut hey, look who’s here! It’s Avon! He walks out to a thunderous applause, shining Tino nearby, and offers his sympathy to Rachel, asking her if she wants to “get out of here and hold on.” She happily says yes, and they leave together, leaving Jesse awkwardly standing there with Tino. So did the producers mind Rachel going through two devastating breakups in a year so they set up a manufactured “happy ending” that wouldn’t last a week? probably! Even Jesse says: “It’s so weird.”

The Bachelorette Finale Gabby Erich ProposesFinally, after all of this, it’s Gabby’s turn. She’s still concerned that Erich isn’t ready to get engaged, but she trusts him with what they have, and they’re all smiles when they meet at the final rose ceremony – but they birds again. are screaming! Is this another omen? Erich knows he needs someone who is totally there for him, and “I want to be that person for you.” And he asks her to marry him – and she says yes! We’re definitely rooting for these two, but after that whole mess with Rachel, we’re also a little angry. Will they make it to the live show? What’s up with those text messages mentioned by Jesse? Back on the live show, he tells us that “not everything has been rosy” since that proposal… and we’re preparing ourselves at this point.

Erich shares a warm kiss with Gabby upon attending the live show, however, it all sounds cute-dovey. (And his mullet is gone!) They state their proposal, and it looks like they’re still together, thank goodness. But Jesse preys on his troubles a bit, filling in Erich about one of his ex-girlfriends, who claims he broke up with her only to go on the show and “get a career opportunity.” Jesse even sent his text messages to the big screen (!) but before he went on the show, Erich explains, and he didn’t think he’d meet someone like Gabby. He admits he didn’t handle that breakup well, and Gabby knows it. But she seems to accept his explanation, and the crowd is behind them – and hey, we need a happy ending, damn it!

So… we still have an hour left, somehow? Jesse briefly interrogates Gabby about her new tenure. dancing with the Stars And turning to three former bachelors for their advice. ,none of these are still with their last menBut anyway!) Plus, we meet the new Bachelor – Rachel’s Ex Zach —and they even start the new season early, with Zach meeting five of his potential ladies and viewers voted home via tweets to give Brianna a first impression. Zach didn’t have a good start, however, and went completely blank when Jesse asked him to remember any of the girls’ names afterwards. Well, you have four months to practice, mate!

got the idea on that chaotic Bachelorette ending? How do we feel about Zach as The Bachelor? Hit the comments and share your thoughts.

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